We know what people most often regret before they die:
我知道人们去世前经常后悔的几件事:
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
希望曾有勇气活出自己,而不是依他人心意而活。
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
希望曾不要玩命工作。
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
希望曾敢于表达自己。
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
希望曾与朋友保持联系。
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
希望曾让自己更快乐。
So what can you do to live a life without regret?
那你如何才能活得无怨无悔?
First, stop worrying. You anticipate regret will be much more painful than it actually is. Studies show we consistently overestimate how regret affects us.
首先,不要担忧,因为事实总是没有我们想的.那么糟。研究显示我们总是高估了悔恨给我们带来的影响。
Leaving options open is not the answer. Ironically, leaving options open makes you dwell on whether you should change your mind. Once the situation is no longer reversible, cognitive dissonance works to your advantage and you're more likely to be at peace. Stop trying to maximize everything. It gets you better results but makes you miserable.
不要因为怕错失其他机会就不做选择。当你决定后,总是为错过其他选择后悔不已,于是又改变主意。其实,一旦想好,你会渐渐投入进去,也不会再胡思乱想。不要把每件事都无限放大,这样虽有更好的结果,但你总是在犹豫中纠结,有点得不偿失。
As with anything related to happiness, perspective is most of the battle. Stop comparing your situation to a lofty, perfect one and compare it to something far worse that you could have opted for. In studies this is consistently associated with lower regret intensity.
至于幸福,很大程度上取决于你的心态。不要把你的情况和天堂或地狱比较,研究发现知足常乐会让我们更少感到后悔。
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