Love Is Not Like Merchandise
A reader in Florida apparently2 bruised3 by some personal experience, writes in to complain, “If I steal a nickel’s4 worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another’s wife, I am free.”
This is a prevalent5 misconception in many people’s minds — that love, like merchandise, can be “stolen”. Numerous states, in fact, have enacted6 laws allowing damages for “alienation of affections7”.
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality．
When a husband or wife is “stolen” by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, and was already predisposed8 toward a new partner. The “lovebandit9” was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of children “belonging” to their parents. But nobody “belongs” to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself. Children are entrusted10 to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents’ trusteeship11.
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing12. At the time, we may have resented this intruder—but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with13. It was not the intruder that “caused” the break, but the lack of a real relationship．
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a “third party.” This is, however, a psychological14 illusion15. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext16 for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity17.
爱情不是商品
一位佛罗里达州读者显然是在个人经历上受过创伤，他写信来抱怨道：“如果我偷走了五分钱的商品，我就是个贼，要受到惩罚；但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的爱情，我没事儿。”
这是许多人心目中普遍存在的一种错觉——爱情，像商品一样，可以“偷走”。实际上，许多州都颁布法令，允许索取“情感转让”赔偿金。
但是爱情并不是商品；真情实意不可能买到、卖掉、交换，或者偷走。爱情是一种意愿的行为，是感情的`转向，是个性上的变化。
当丈夫或妻子被另一个人“偷走”时，那个丈夫或妻子就已经具备了被偷走的条件，事先已经准备接受新的伴侣了。这位“爱匪”不过是取走等人取走、盼人取走的东西。
我们往往待人如物。我们甚至说孩子“属于”父母。但是谁也不“属于”谁。人都属于自己。孩子是托付给父母的，如果父母不善待他们，政府有权取消父母对他们的托管身份。
我们多数人年轻时都有过恋人被某个更有魅力、更迷人的人夺去的经历。在当时，我们兴许怨恨这位不速之客——但是后来长大了，也就认识到了心上人本来就不属于我们。并不是不速之客 “导致了”决裂，而是缺乏真正的感情。
从表面上看，许多婚姻似乎是因为有了 “第三者”才破裂的。然而这是一种心理上的错觉。另外那个女人，或者另外那个男人，无非是作为借口，用来解除早就不是完好无损的婚姻罢了。
英语美文 On Motes and Beams
It is curious that our own offenses should seem so much less heinous than the offenses of others. I suppose the reason is that we know all the circumstances that have occasioned them and so manage to excuse in ourselves what we cannot excuse in others. We turn our attention away from our own defects, and when we are forced by untoward events to consider them, find it easy to condone them. For all I know we are right to do this; they are part of us and we must accept the good and bad in ourselves together.
But when we come to judge others, it is not by ourselves as we really are that we judge them, but by an image that we have formed of ourselves from which we have left our everything that offends our vanity or would discredit us in the eyes of the world. To take a trivial instance: how scornful we are when we catch someone out telling a lie; but who can say that he has never told not one, but a hundred?
There is not much to choose between men. They are all a hotchpotch of greatness and littleness, of virtue and vice, of nobility and baseness. Some have more strength of character, or more opportunity, and so in one direction or another give their instincts freer play, but potentially they are the same. For my part, I do not think I am any better or any worse than most people, but I know that if I set down every action in my life and every thought that has crossed my mind, the world would consider me a monster of depravity. The knowledge that these reveries are common to all men should inspire one with tolerance to oneself as well as to others. It is well also if they enable us to look upon our felllows, even the most eminent and respectable, with humor, and if they lead us to take ourselves not too seriously.
英语美文 Competition
It is a plain fact that we are in a world where competition is going on in all areas and at all levels.This is exciting.Yet, on the other hand, competition breeze a pragmatic attitude.People choose to learn things that are useful,and do things that are profitable.Todays' college education is also affected by this general sense of utilitarianism. Many college students choose business nor computing programming as their majors convinced that this professions are where the big money is. It is not unusual to see the college students taking a part time jobs as a warming up for the real battle.I often see my friends taking GRE tests, working on English or computer certificates and taking the driving licence to get a licence. Well, I have nothing against being practical. As the competition in the job market gets more and more intense, students do have reasons to be practical. However, we should never forget that college education is much more than skill training. Just imagine, if your utilitarianism is prevails on campus, living no space for the cultivation of students' minds,or nurturing of their soul. We will see university is training out well trained spiritless working machines.If utilitarianism prevails society, we will see people bond by mind-forged medicals lost in the money-making ventures;we will see humality lossing their grace and dignity, and that would be disastrous.I'd like to think society as a courage and people persumed for profit or fame as a horese that pulls the courage.Yet without the driver picking direction the courage would go straight and may even end out in a precarious situation .A certificate may give you some advantage, but broad horizons, positive attitudes and personal integrities ,these are assets you cannot acquire through any quick fixed way.In today's world, whether highest level of competition is not of skills or expertise , but vision and strategy. Your intellectual quality largely determinds how far you can go in your career.
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